


The Ass-ident

by hetapastel (BringMeThePhan)



Series: Nedden Week 2017 [1]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, But still amazing, Fluff, Funny, M/M, denmark has a nice ass, just really cute wholesome humor, netherlands is kinda awkward
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-10
Updated: 2017-10-10
Packaged: 2019-01-15 14:33:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12322911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BringMeThePhan/pseuds/hetapastel
Summary: Mathias is fed up with it. He's been trying his best (waking up earlier just tofucking exercisewalk to work is hard for him, okay?), but that doesn't seem to matter. As he finds a pattern for his schedule, he also finds that every moring, around the same time, the same jackass on a bike almost runs him over.





	The Ass-ident

**Author's Note:**

> First prompt for Nedden week! I struggled a little with this one, but I'm still excited and satisfied with it!
> 
> I honestly don't know what the title, I ran out of ideas after writing this, but eh. The name for Denmark is Mathias, and the name for Netherlands is Lars. I hope you enjoy this!
> 
> / / In case you see this story elsewhere, it's also posted to my wattpad @hetapastel and my tumblr @attackonpika. Anywhere else having this story I don't know about but I'm just kinda posting all my fics for Nedden week on all my writing accounts

Everyday he saw him. He didn't even know his name, but that didn't stop Mathias from looking for him. It's not like he  _ wanted _ to, really it wasn't! He didn't want to keep being almost run over by a smug asshole on a damn bike when he walked to work. A lot of people rode their bikes, and a lot of people were respectful of people, like Mathias, who chose to walk instead.

 

This guy was not one of those people, though.

 

Every morning, every damn morning since Mathias changed his route to walking, he'd see him (cleverly nicknamed “asshole” by Mathias when he complained about him to others) coming zooming up before almost running him into the ground, a hasty apology shouted as he continued along. One time, he almost hit Mathias in the side with the basket on the front of his bike as he came by, his usual expression replaced with worry as he slowed down.

 “Hey, are you alright?” He asked. Mathias nodded, getting a good look at the guy for the first time and deciding he was  _ fucking screwed. _

  “Yeah, yeah-- I'm good.” The other nodded back before continuing along. When Mathias walked into work that morning, early, he groaned in frustration. Assholes weren't meant to be cute! That made it harder to hate him! Assholes were supposed to look like, well, assholes! People you’d avoid. Not really attractive men with beautiful green eyes, nice figure, and a small scar on his forehead that made him look badass!

 

Today though, Mathias would get his revenge. He had set enough aside to rent his bike, and today he was going to be the one speeding past Asshole. He continued down his route, enjoying the ride. No wonder he always seemed to zoom past Mathias, this was fun! Or it was, until he stopped paying attention to where he was going and sped right into a bush. He heard laughter from behind him as someone stopped and offered him a hand--asshole himself.

 “I was trying to warn you about that bush,” he said while helping Mathias up. Mathias stood up and brushed himself off moodily.

 “Oh. Well, thanks.” Asshole smiled at him, pulling a leaf from his windblown and wild hair.

 “I've seen you before, I think. Don't you usually walk?” Mathias nodded.

 “I, uh… yeah. I usually do. But I-- it's stupid, really,” he scratched behind his neck nervously. Asshole continued to look at Mathias before it seemed he had some kind of realization.

 “Oh, god, you're-- I'm so sorry. I'm so, so, sorry.” Mathias tilted his head. What the hell? Asshole was supposed to be, well, an  _ asshole _ . Not whatever this guy was!

 “Sorry?” The other nodded sheepishly.

 “It was an accident the first time, I swear! But then-- and I--” he sighed defeated. Mathias smiled softly, feeling a little sorry for being so harsh on him. But if what he said was right, he was  _ purposely  _ trying to run Mathias into the ground with a bike. And cute or not, that was a dick move.

 “You have a really nice ass…” Asshole finally said after a moment as some sort of explanation. Mathias couldn't help but laugh hysterically. He was almost getting run over because  _ he had a nice ass?! _

 “I'm… I'm sorry-- I really don't mean to be rude,” Mathias said through his laughter before calming down, “I just think that might be a bit of an extreme reaction.”

 “‘Extreme?’” Mathias nodded.

 “Yeah. Running someone over with a bike isn't exactly a great flirting tactic.” Asshole seemed to become even more flustered, sighing while pinching the bridge of his nose.

 “God, I-- I'm so sorry for any trouble I've caused you.” Mathias grinned, getting an idea.

 “It's alright. But, do you think I could get your name and number? I'm gonna need it later for insurance.”

 “Insurance?” Asshole asked worried.

 “Well, yeah. In case something happens like this when I ask you for a date. I’d rather not have to deal with hospital bills.” His smile grew as he was smacked on the arm.  _ Totally worth it!  _ He thought as asshole took his phone as Mathias handed it over.

 “Jackass. If my flirting skills are bad, your asking-people-out skills aren't much better.” He handed Mathias back his phone before getting back on his bike.

 “Eight o’clock, tonight. Text me where you wanna meet at.” He smiled softly while riding off. Mathias waved while staring at his phone to check Asshole’s actual name.

 “Lars…” he looked ahead to see Lars riding off already while he grabbed the bike from the bush, sighing in relief when he saw it wasn't banged up too bad that he couldn’t return it to the rental place.

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to share what you think! I had a little trouble with this because I lack a frame of reference lol. I never really learned to ride a bike as a kid, even though I was supposed to. Some stuff came up and that never happened, but oh well I'm saving money for a bike to teach myself since I'm too scared to drive. If you have any fun stuff about bikes like stories or just anything else even it doesn't have to e bike related you wanna share, feel free to!


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